Monday, July 9, 2012

My Baby = Super Mario

Let me explain. It involves something called a "Ground Pound".

The "Ground Pound" involves Mario (or Luigi, Yoshi or Peach for that matter) jumping in the air, and somehow exponentializing gravity, allowing him to make a thundering sound as he plows into whatever is beneath him, often revealing coins or magic flutes.


However, below my uterus, there are no magic instruments, though I do usually make some sort of extended noise when Super Babio hits my bladder. My baby can summon the power to crush my internal organs just moments after peeing, creating the intense sensation that I have unfinished business. He remains balled and anchored until he realizes there are no coins to gain from that spot, and continues on through, running and flying and bouncing off of the other walls of my constantly stretching insides.

With any luck, once he completes his objectives for this level, he'll move onto the next world (Big World) Mario style:


Although honestly, I'm hoping for head first.


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