(A bun in the) bun in the oven

I'm about to head to Annapolis to hang out with Maria and Kate, so I figured I'd make brownies. Unfortunately, when I opened the oven door, I was met by THIS:

WHAT THE--?



After an expletive or two, I tried to figure out what happened. I realized that I had not added half the sugar, but after resourcing Grammy O., the source of the recipe, the verdict is that, while it's stupid to add only half of the sugar, it shouldn't have caused a baby bump to rise on my brownies.

Maybe the eggs didn't settle right...maybe I didn't spread them out enough...maybe pregnancy is contagious. I'll let you know if there are tiny, pre-cut brownies inside.

Frank's Alien Encounter

So there we were, lying in bed, settling in for the night--when the baby starts his nightly routine of actively kicking and rolling around for a half hour. We were both feeling my stomach, laughing and being impressed with how strong and active he is already, speculating what it'll feel like two or three months from now.

Before I know it, Frank has drifted off to sleep with his hand on my belly.

While I marvel over/think jealous thoughts of how quickly and easily he gets to pass out, Theo thumps me again, and Frank springs awake as if from a very short nightmare, startled and panting. I am laughing at this point, half at the strange spot the baby kicked me (sometimes it kind of tickles, like when someone pokes you in your side), and half at my husband.

"JEEZE, he is really kicking in there. Ohhh my gosh, that scared the crap out of me."

My guess is he was expecting to wake up to something like this:

Luckily, not the case--just another restful night in slumberland.

Creative pain relief

In addition to transplanting the mattress and going to the chiropractor, here are a few other things I've been doing to alleviate my body's misery:

I found this at Target for 15 bucks. Looks like a dog toy, meant for working out (ha), but actually very handy for being comfortably sedentary. Comes with its own pump and can inflated to your liking and shoved behind the back or butt while driving, sitting or leaning on stuff. Great at filling "that empty space" in annoying chairs. Also fits well behind or in the crook of the neck. It's got a rubbery grip to it, but I don't find it terribly uncomfortable if it touches my skin.

The weight of my growing belly now leaves the top-side of my belly achy from stretching after a few hours of sleep without proper cushioning. So next, this is what I have historically called my "bean" pillow (I think the why is pretty obvious.) It's tempurpedic, and has great structure, so much so that I stopped using it for my head and neck months ago. It is, however, a fantastic belly wedge!

Here's what it sort of looks like in use, for scaling reference:

It's tapered, so it's great for a wedge, and also firmer than most wedges I've seen. I'm also not worried about it getting matted down as I continue to use it and get heavier. Also, because of its size, I get some support for my hip and chest as well, depending on how severely I'm spooning it that night. Because of the level support I get in the front with this, I can keep my back from twisting and getting more uncomfortable throughout the night. Fab-oo!

Next, we have a Gabrialla Maternity mini support belt. I'm modeling it over my dress so you can see where it goes, but it's usually discreetly worn under anything you want. It puts a bit of good-feeling pressure on your low back, and lifts your belly a bit to take bad-feeling pressure off of your low back.

Honestly, jury is still out on this one. New York was a horrible, extreme litmus test for this thing, and I'm not quite back to a point where I can tell if it really helps or not. I will say that it makes a lot more sense for when I'm standing and walking. When I sit, it can roll a bit (though the band itself stays in place), and puts a lot of pressure on my bladder. Also, if the baby moves while I'm sitting, it feels kind of intense--like I trapped him there with a giant rubber band, and he's working on his underwater Houdini act.

They have way more elaborate belly harnesses than this all over Amazon, but I figured I'd try this one first. It was also about 15 bucks. The competing band only had three sets of eye-hook fixtures on it, and this had velcro, which is better for all those in-betweens. I got a large, which fits, but it may not for long. The underside of my belly around my back measured about 40 inches when I bought it, and I'm already at the end of the velcro patch.

Lastly, I'm proud to say that I found a new purpose for my rolling cooler:



The path to our door is long, and pushing (NOT PULLING) this thing to and from the car was a LOT nicer than making more trips putting more weight on my back and legs.

Pain creates a necessity to find relief; necessity is the mother of all invention. I may just hatch a million-dollar idea by the time I hatch this kid.

The Chiropractor is Magic

I made an appointment with a chiropractor that my doula referred me to. Her practice specializes in working with pregnant women, and luckily they had an appointment open for the very next day, because I was totally at my limit.

When you tell people you're going to the chiropractor, you get about the same split of reactions as when you tell people you're finding out what sex your baby is. Some people think it's great, and some are skeptical as to why you would ever want to do it.

Well, the next time you have severe back pain and aren't allowed to take anything but Tylenol (which I'm assuming are just sugar pills at this point), and you've gone about a week without being able to sleep, sit, stand or walk comfortably for more than 10 minutes at a time, you're willing to look into anything that advertises relief, and that includes medieval torture devices, rare botanics that cause temporary paralysis, and magic spells. So really, choosing a chiropractor seems downright levelheaded to me.

When I got there, I was seen right away, and asked a lot of questions about location, frequency and severity of pain. I was asked to lay on the table while my legs were lifted in different ways, and I was asked if I was experiencing any pain. At one point, she lifted my hands over my head, and said, "Ah hah." When she placed my palms together while I was lying down, my palms were uneven.

Turns out that what can frequently cause sciatic pain in pregnancy are things called Sacroiliac Ligaments.

According to some site called WiseGeek.com:

The sacroiliac ligament is the connection between the sacrum (the lowest part of your back) and the hips. The sacrum is a large triangular bone at the base of the spine in the pelvic cavity at the ileum between the two hip bones. The ileum is the largest of the pelvic bones which gives the hips a rounded appearance.

This ligament, or fibrous tissue which links bones, cartilage or other structures together, provides stability between the sacrum and the hips. The sacroiliac joint, the point of attachment of the bones, is a strong connection with the ability to withstand the pressures of weight bearing. Problems with this ligament can cause pain issues to include things like low back pain and pain in the hips, thighs, buttocks or legs.

"Ow, oh my gosh you guys, my back is freakin' buggin.

I think it's my sacroiliac ligaments."

According to my doctor, if these ligaments are tighter on one side than the other, it can put pressure on your sciatic nerve, and even cause hip pain.

She somehow helped me stretch the appropriate side out enough so that my hands were even again, and also did some acupressure with her fingers along the left side of my spine (where all my pain was), along with some other pelvic rotation-type things by moving the bottom half of my body around while I lay on my stomach. Rather enjoyable, and I while I was a bit afraid to say, I was feeling pretty darn good when I stood up again. She made one small cracky adjustment to my mid-back (which always cracks anyway), but I was happy that when all was said and done that it didn't take a bunch of bone-crunching adjustments to fix me up.

Of course, true to form, I did a little too much activity when I got home, and was hurting at the end of the day, but the pain was manageable, and after another good night's sleep with the mattress fully supported on the floor, I felt relatively awesome the next day.

I'll go twice a week for the first two weeks, then once a week after that. My insurance covers 80%, which is great, but in case your wondering, I think the appointment would have run me between $100 to $125 if I were uninsured.

Added tips from the doc:
--Ice, NOT heat--the sciatic pain is from the nerve being inflamed, and ice calms the blood flow.
--Massage your round ligaments (different from sacroiliac ligaments, but still helpful for pain relief)every day.
--If you're watching TV, or working on a computer a lot, try sitting forward with your arms resting on a coffee table or ottoman, and put a pillow wherever your hips or belly are resting. This takes the pressure off of your low back (try ace bandaging an ice pack on top while you lean!)

I've really been chilling out the last two days, and it has helped everything a lot. Frank is much happier now that we're both sleeping, and I'm able to manage my level of pain immensely better already after one appointment. HALLELUJAH.

p.s. Found this while I was looking for that other horrible picture up above. HA. You're welcome.

Sleepless times call for desperate measures

After two very long, sleep deprived nights [slowly] tossing and turning, rearranging pillows and whimpering, I realized that one of the problems at hand was that our mattress is too soft for me. The straighter I can keep my spine these days, the better, and unfortunately, those IKEA slats were still leaving me hanging.

Then, I suggested this beauty of a bedroom configuration.

Frank, also craving a good nights sleep (between the whimpering and accidentily beating him with five different kinds of pillows, he didn't sleep much more than I did), would've dragged the mattress to the roof if it would've made the difference, and so snugged the bed into the mattress-sized space on the floor without further debate or questioning. 

It has really helped. Still working on a long-term solution.

Baby Envy

Great news (although a bit late at this point), Kate had her baby boy! Mom and son were both healthy, with Lucas clocking in under 9lbs. She rocked out the natural birth as planned, although she was fine with admitting she asked for drugs once or twice. I laughed pretty hard after hearing this, as it was followed by the immediate telling of her boyfriend's response:

"NO."

He followed his strong syllable by telling the midwives that natural birth was all she's been talking about, and she's never said once that she wanted pain meds, blah blah. I don't know if it was his adamance as much as the threat to her previously unwavering plan that made him speak up, but the importance of following every detail of the almighty birth plan somehow dimmed in priority. As I suspected and feared myself, it often seems that no amount of research is more convicting than the intensity of your body opening like a wormhole to another dimension.

If not for the fact that she couldn't imagine the plight of being wheeled up to labor and delivery on a gernie (she'd have needed to be transferred from the birthing center to the hospital), survey says she would have won out. No matter--you can still chalk it up to womanly determination--that baby had a good-sized head. Ya done good, Mama.

Frank and I brought dinner out to their new family over the weekend, and we all had a great time eating, laughing and passing around this adorable little baby.

Look at that sweet faaaace!

He was so cute, and had that perfect little squish to him. Too much skin, like a new puppy, and so soft. Even when he fussed, I couldn't get enough. I started to feel a strange kind of jealousy, I think mostly because I'd rather snuggle a baby than have my back hurt for another three months, but also because of the general wonder of it all.

She's had him for a little over a week, and already she knows the best ways to soothe him. She's determined to do all of the best things for him, and has already taken great strides in doing so. She's a full-blown mom.

Seeing the transition from super impatient, uncomfortable, pregnant Kate to I-have-no-problem-eating-dinner-while-holding-a-baby Kate really got me psyched to get through the summer and on the other side. I can't wait to marvel at the fact that the one who was constantly kicking me in the gut is finally here in front of my eyes--really does look like his dad, likes to fall asleep on me, and actually needs me in order to feel safe.

In the meantime, I'll just have to get my kicks by hanging out with this smashing mom and son. Not such a bad interim fix. Congratulations Kate (and Pat!)

Why I had a meltdown after a relaxing massage...

While we were in NY this past week, Frank made a point to make sure I got myself a prenatal massage, and I certainly had no objections. Especially because after the first day of walking the city, I was in agony. I was fighting back tears by our last subway ride at about 5pm that day from sciatic pain.

I could barely walk--I had pain shooting down my butt almost to my ankles in searing throbs. Seeing the misery I was in, Frank was more than happy to call us cabs for the rest of our stay, which luckily wasn't more costly than it was worth since we were right in the middle of Manhattan.

So we took a cab the next morning to the Red Door Spa (so fancy!), and I was looking forward to getting a good rub-down. This was my first prenatal massage, and certainly the fanciest ambiance I've had for any massage--changing room, fluffy robe, relaxation library, sun deck, water with lemon, showers with hot towels, the whole bit.

My therapist was lovely, and we chatted comfortably through the first 25 minutes of the massage between groans of pain and/or relief. The major difference between prenatal and regular massage is you lie on your side to get your back worked on, and they make sure to prop you up while you're on your back, so you're not totally flat. This place actually had a table split into three sections that angled up and down with a lever, which allowed me to have my knees slightly bent as well.

Added note: You're supposed to wait until your second trimester to have any kind of massage, and you want to make sure to have someone work on you who actually has training in prenatal massage therapy, not just some jock who can rub your back while you lay on your side (husbands are an exception--they can learn). There are pressure points and certain things that need to be avoided, as I've read that certain points on your ankles and feet especially can actually trigger contractions--sounds super strange, but it's worth avoiding.

So why did I have a 40-minute meltdown on the sundeck (in the chair on the far end) in my fuzzy robe after my relaxing respite?

A) I was still in some pain, and B) I realized that my inability to find a balance between moving and resting had gotten me there.

I had a really hard time finding a happy medium on this trip where I wasn't squandering vacation time or running myself into a painful situation, and I tended to lean toward the pain-inducing side. I grew up playing sports, and played Division I softball all through college. That involves getting injured, being tired, and playing through it. However, I realize now that a sprained ankle or strained patellar tendon is a lot different than an occupied uterus. They certainly involve less hormones.

The big problem is that this whole pregnancy thing is a giant, nine-month slide rule of pain, fatigue and malaise, and not knowing where exactly the ebb and flow is headed from day to day is to my extreme detriment. Frank is more in-tune to when I need to rest than I am at this point, because I'm not used to letting myself do it.

Maybe I was single for too long...we have to be independent--make money, do the "to-do's", keep calm and carry on, take care of business. It's a big mind-shift to have someone providing and caring for you, and it's difficult to relent your treasured neurosis of wiping the bathroom floor to the hair and fuzz that are now overrunning what once was your morning oasis.

I've also realized that when I suffer, Frank suffers, partly because he has to listen to me whine and then try to fix it, but also because he cares about me, and absolutely hates seeing me upset and miserable. So, for his sake too, I need to remember to sit. To eat. To sleep. To take a bath. To do nothing. To take care of myself. The times they are-a-changin'.

And oh so soon, they'll change again--from what I understand, I'll have plenty of opportunities to take care of added responsibility in a few months, so in the meantime, maybe I'll just buy a hammock or something.

Except a hammock would murder my lower lumbar...maybe a jazzy scooter instead.

My Baby = Super Mario

Let me explain. It involves something called a "Ground Pound".

The "Ground Pound" involves Mario (or Luigi, Yoshi or Peach for that matter) jumping in the air, and somehow exponentializing gravity, allowing him to make a thundering sound as he plows into whatever is beneath him, often revealing coins or magic flutes.

However, below my uterus, there are no magic instruments, though I do usually make some sort of extended noise when Super Babio hits my bladder. My baby can summon the power to crush my internal organs just moments after peeing, creating the intense sensation that I have unfinished business. He remains balled and anchored until he realizes there are no coins to gain from that spot, and continues on through, running and flying and bouncing off of the other walls of my constantly stretching insides.

With any luck, once he completes his objectives for this level, he'll move onto the next world (Big World) Mario style:

Although honestly, I'm hoping for head first.